Voicemails from my Mother

These are just two of the six voice mails i have in my inbox from my mom.

I just want everyone to remember, she cant help herself.

Voicemail #1 august 13, 2010 4:40pm

Reeeeeiiiiiiillllllly? Reeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiillllllyyyyy? Rei?

I was wondering if you could go to Cafe' Rio and get some soup. Some chicken soup. Ya I'm sick and i need some chicken soup. Some Cafe Rio soup and a cup of ice. A large cup. And some chicken soup from Cafe Rio.

Can you do that? I hope your feeling better. If your not I'll share my medication with you.

But i need some soup cause I'm at home and i cant drive, cause I'm sick. Really sick. Did i tell you I'm sick? I'm on the toilet sick. I'm sick.

I love you. I hope your not sick. I hope you go to Cafe Rio and get me chicken soup.

Wah Wah Wah

(which goes on for about 45 seconds)

That's me crying because I'm dehydrated and i have no tears left.

Goodbye. Oh ya this is your Mom. Love you.

(Then for a very painful ten minutes i hear her in the bathroom, because she has no idea how to work her phone and didn't shut it off.)

Voicemail #2 August 13, 2010 6:23pm

Reilly its me your mom. I didn't die. You might have thought I did because the message went on and on. But I didn't push end i just closed the lid. Because i was on the toilet and my hands were...

So that's why it didn't, it didn't hang up. I didn't die. I didn't want you to worry. I'm not dead. Probably wont die today, but if i don't get soup by tomorrow i might very well.

So Dad went off camping and didn't even see if I had water or bananas which i don't or Gatorade which i hate, or anything. He didn't even give me a kiss goodbye. He just said "Well we've been planning this for a long time."

Ya I'm going to stab him when he gets home, with a stick.

I love you. Goodbye. I'm hanging up the button so you don't think i died.