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Lindsays insane crush

Its not surprising that my very best friend would have to be insane.... but no one knew that Lindsay was THIS insane.

During the previews of Easy A (which is pretty much the funniest movie since Shes the Man) A new movie with one Jeff Goldblum comes on and Lindsay (God bless her) turns to me and says "Oh I love Jeff Goldblum, he's so on my 'Crushes that don't make sense list'"

I still don't know what to do with this new found knowledge. A part of me wants to get her admitted into and institution as soon as possible. The other part of me wants to shake my head and say "of coarse you do sweetie"

What would you do if your best friend flopped your whole perspective of them?


This is more confusing then the time you admitted you had a thing for Brett Michaels.

Voicemails from my Mother

These are just two of the six voice mails i have in my inbox from my mom.

I just want everyone to remember, she cant help herself.

Voicemail #1 august 13, 2010 4:40pm

Reeeeeiiiiiiillllllly? Reeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiillllllyyyyy? Rei?

I was wondering if you could go to Cafe' Rio and get some soup. Some chicken soup. Ya I'm sick and i need some chicken soup. Some Cafe Rio soup and a cup of ice. A large cup. And some chicken soup from Cafe Rio.

Can you do that? I hope your feeling better. If your not I'll share my medication with you.

But i need some soup cause I'm at home and i cant drive, cause I'm sick. Really sick. Did i tell you I'm sick? I'm on the toilet sick. I'm sick.

I love you. I hope your not sick. I hope you go to Cafe Rio and get me chicken soup.

Wah Wah Wah

(which goes on for about 45 seconds)

That's me crying because I'm dehydrated and i have no tears left.

Goodbye. Oh ya this is your Mom. Love you.

(Then for a very painful ten minutes i hear her in the bathroom, because she has no idea how to work her phone and didn't shut it off.)

Voicemail #2 August 13, 2010 6:23pm

Reilly its me your mom. I didn't die. You might have thought I did because the message went on and on. But I didn't push end i just closed the lid. Because i was on the toilet and my hands were...

So that's why it didn't, it didn't hang up. I didn't die. I didn't want you to worry. I'm not dead. Probably wont die today, but if i don't get soup by tomorrow i might very well.

So Dad went off camping and didn't even see if I had water or bananas which i don't or Gatorade which i hate, or anything. He didn't even give me a kiss goodbye. He just said "Well we've been planning this for a long time."

Ya I'm going to stab him when he gets home, with a stick.

I love you. Goodbye. I'm hanging up the button so you don't think i died.

Crystal

When i was writing the title of this post my mom (standing behind me) says "I call her Crystal-Dear." and i said (shoving her away) "I call her dumb."
She mumbles something under her breath as she walks away.

ANYWAYS......

Crystal,

You are my favorite sister to be. I am so glad you were born. I know this is late, your birthday was on Friday. I also know that my present is late.... (i get paid on Tuesday) But... Here is a blog post just for you sweets.My baby brother could not have found a more perfect match. you are the peanut to his butter. Never before has someone who is not in our family been able to stay in the same room with us all for such large amounts of time.You are the best sister a girl could ask for. And i know you think the threats about keeping you locked in our basement for 2 years while Reese is gone are us joking.... well were not. We have a nice corner all made up for you. It has a craft table, and a comfy pillow for you to sleep on.
Happy Birthday Sweets. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being such a great example. Thank you for taking a dumb boy and making him a kind man. Thank you for being my sister. Love you girl.

Feeling like a rebel......

...Anybody want to help me start a fire?

This week.....

Sunday- Nancy's birthday! + Reese got called out for another fire.

Monday- Crystal and i washed Gertie then spent about 2 hours on Reese's bed so she could "smell" him. Finley started crawling finally.

Tuesday- Kate and i had a crazy movie marathon starting with Eat Pray Love, (fantastic) then Olive Garden, then Scott Pilgrim vs the World (which i will be owning asap) and to top it all of The Switch (not a huge Jennifer Aniston fan but still funny and good) Great day with my bf

Wednesday- I sat around and zoned out. I turned my phone off for a few hours and just was. I turned off my head and didn't think about money, work, friends, family, bills, love, my past, my future, non of it. I just thought about me and who i want to be right now in this moment. Its pretty scary when you question your whole life and get answers you never thought possible.

Thursday - i am spending the whole day with my best friend Lindsay and my crazy niece Finners. Its the last week of summer and i am spending it doing nothing and loving it. Doing nothing has never felt more like doing something before. ALSO Lindsay's very first college class!

Friday- Hell who knows. Bring on the rain.

My brother Reese has been called out to fight fires in Idaho....



who even likes Idaho anyways?

my favorite childhood songs

UB40 - Cant help falling in Love



UB40 - Red Red Wine

"I want someone who will be monogamous and nice to his\my mother. And I want someone who likes musicals, but knows to just shut his mouth when I'm watching Lost. And I want someone who thinks being really into cars is lame, and strip clubs are gross. I want someone who will actually empty the dishwasher instead of just taking out forks as needed — like I do. I want someone with clean hands and feet and beefy forearms, like a damned Disney prince. And I want him to genuinely like me. Even when I'm old. And that's what I want.
— Liz Lemon, 30 Rock

Hot N Cold

Watching 10th Kingdom all day with my best friends, Lindsay, Crystal, Reese, and Finley. We are going to rock till the break of dawn!

Earwig War

War has been declared on me. I didn't know that I was a guest in someone elses house but the earwigs have made it clear that I am not welcomed.

One week ago I woke up and went to brush my teeth like any normal human being does in the morning. And there on my tooth brush (oh by the way I am a super freak when it comes to tooth brushes and brushing my teeth. I even have a tooth brush cover that I use.) and there on the head of my tooth brush is a huge earwig just hanging out. NOT OK! Of coarse I killed it and threw away my tooth brush and had to run to Walgreens (yes I am an old lady) to get a new one.

I foolishly thought that was the end of my torments. But then last night as I am getting ready for bed there on my nice newly washed pillow case is another earwig. This one was ready to fight. As I choke back a sob (because I know that I will never again be able to do my favorite hobby, which is sleep) I attack with the might of a warrior.... or just grab a tissue and mush it and flush it down the toilet.
As I walk out of the bathroom after flushing my enemy I see another earwig scuttling to safety in the hall by my bedroom door. Again I kill it and stand defeated in the dark hallway waiting for the next attack.

Not knowing when or where they are going to strike next is the worst part about war. I must have killed their Queen or something. The weird thing is my landlord wont return my calls to come spray the house..... she has either been taken hostage or is one of them. My money is that she is the mastermind behind this war sending the earwig troops to send me packing.

I might have won the battle.... but I am not sure I will win the next battle.

Feeling.....

Sad
Lonely
Like a teenager
Rage
Rage
Stumped
Worthless
Just wishing that i could go into a coma for a couple months


On the other hand.....

Feeling.....

Loved
Young
Free
Closer to who i want to be
Sisters
Strong
Strong
Careful
Daughter
Aunt

Loved.

When i started writing this i thought it would just be negative because those are the feelings that are swirling around my head like a flock of birds.

Who wants to come over and shoot some birds with me?